a “feel-good” moment.

“And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” –Kahlil Gibran, “The Prophet”

I spent my Saturday night in Edmon Low finishing a project that should have been done weeks ago…but thank goodness I had two amazing girls by my side, suffering right along with me. Leaving behind so many friends and relationships in Texas has made me feel a real sense of loss and longing…I am often convinced I made a horrible decision in coming back to Oklahoma. And then I think…this was my home to begin with. But… I created a life in Houston. A life all my own, even with all the pitfalls and disappointments. Deep down, I know that this is where I need to be at this chapter in my life, though often times I feel like I gave up on the independent life I had in Texas. I ask myself, did I make this move out of desperation? Was I just afraid of hitting rock-bottom or did I subconsciously realize the road I was heading down was actually a downward spiral? The events that transpired that year had really shook me to my core, and I truly believe that if I had stayed in Houston at that time, I would be in a very different place today. Maybe not here at all. I have to remind myself that I chose to give up that life…that the life that I lost myself in had given up on me.

At 25, it’s scary to come back into the university experience after taking a break for three years and realize that most of my classmates are younger than I am in age. Even as a senior, my peers are at least a few years behind me. By no means are they any less mature than I, but sometimes I find myself feeling that I’ve lived a little more…seen a little more…experienced a little more they they. It was so refreshing to lose myself in the company of new friends and forget about whatever it was I told myself I was missing back in Houston. As we worked together on a common goal, we built upon our newfound friendship. As we slaved away on our procrastinated assignment, we also laughed out loud and created inside jokes among us.

As I listened to one of the ladies recount the events of their Friday night, I realized I had felt the first real pang of satisfaction and contentment since moving back to Oklahoma.  I walked down the library stairs beside them and out into the courtyard.  One, two, three…exhale.

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